SARAH Mills’ after-school parties were legendary.
The music blared and the booze flowed, but the star of these get-togethers was undoubtedly the mum-of-two herself – unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons.
Sarah Mills has now been sober for more than two months and bitterly regrets the time she has lost with her children[/caption]
With booze helping let her guard down, Sarah would often make a show of herself in front of friends and family[/caption]
Her friends would arrive around 4pm, by which time Sarah had already cracked open the Prosecco.
Husband Martyn, 45, would regularly return from work to find the house full of people and his wife drunkenly dancing, twerking and singing along on the karaoke machine.
Often, she would fall over and flash her knickers to anyone in view.
More than once, she wet herself after drinking a couple of bottles of fizz.
Sarah’s evening would usually end with her stumbling to the bathroom to be sick, before passing out on the sofa.
It was left to her husband to feed the kids and put them to bed.
In June this year, after a drunken 40th, Sarah finally said to herself: enough is enough.
She has now been sober for more than two months and bitterly regrets the time she has lost with her children.
“It got to the point where I thought, ‘What is wrong with me? Why am I doing this?’” she says.
“It was just embarrassing and I’ve missed out on so much family time.”
Sarah, a business administrator for the NHS, lives with Martyn, a company director, in Crediton, Devon, with their daughter, seven, and son, six.
She began drinking aged 12 and never stopped.
Despite the havoc it wreaked, Sarah’s boozing schedule was strictly organised.
After getting through a dull Monday and Tuesday, she’d be all set for “wobbly Wednesday”.
Wednesday, Friday – when she got the “Friday feeling” – and Sundays were designated binge nights, with the four other days assigned for recovery.
“I would go to the shop and get my Prosecco and get some party food,” says Sarah.
“I used to spend so much money – about £70 a night on booze. I even went without new clothes and shoes to fund it.”
Sarah admits she’d also plan “distractions” for her kids, so she’d be free to drink uninterrupted.
“I’d get a magazine with a toy on it for my children, or there was always lots of Lego,” she admits.
“On Wednesday and Friday, as soon as I got home from picking the kids up from school, I’d have a drink.
“I liked gin as well, or I’d have a cocktail. On any one night, I would drink about a bottle and a half of Prosecco mixed with a bottle of WKD.”
By the time Sarah’s husband – who isn’t a big drinker – arrived home at 5.30pm, the house would be “carnage”, with mess everywhere and the kids “running wild”.
“Quite often I’d be so drunk I wouldn’t be able to cook and I’d be slurring my words,” says Sarah.
“He’d have to take over and make the kids’ dinner.
“There were no rows, because he is not confrontational, but my drinking did put a strain on the marriage.
“Martyn had to take the load and I think he felt constant disappointment in me.
“A handful of times he noticed that my trousers were wet and would say, ‘You’ve wet yourself’, then send me upstairs to get changed.
“I would be so drunk I wouldn’t care.”
With booze helping let her guard down, Sarah says she’d often make a show of herself in front of friends and family.
I wasn’t able to walk the dog, or do the food shopping. I would avoid eye contact with the other mums on the school run.
“I would talk about inappropriate things and make sexual innuendos in front of my parents,” she says.
“But they took it in their stride because I’d been drinking for so many years.”
At around 8pm, Sarah would be sick and then pass out.
She says: “Once, when I ran into the bathroom to throw up, I slipped on the wet floor and cracked my nose on the toilet, resulting in a nasty nosebleed. Thankfully the children were asleep.”
Sarah’s tolerance for booze became weaker after she had a gastric sleeve operation four years ago and lost 6.5st.
“With a gastric sleeve you can’t eat and drink at the same time, so I chose to drink,” says Sarah, who now weighs 8st 12lbs.
Opening up about the mental toll her drinking took, Sarah says: “In the mornings I would suffer from the worst anxiety and depression.
“I wasn’t able to walk the dog, or do the food shopping. I would avoid eye contact with the other mums on the school run.
“Very often I wouldn’t go to work and would call in sick at the private company where I used to work.
“If my kids had nowhere to go on a Sunday afternoon, I would down a bottle of Prosecco while cooking a roast.”
Sarah says she’d suffer from the worst anxiety and depression after boozing[/caption]
Sarah stopped drinking on June 7 and has been counting the days sober since[/caption]
Sarah’s husband and sister tried on multiple occasions to encourage her to stop drinking, but their pleas fell on deaf ears.
“I’d say to them, ‘I don’t have a problem – I just like to have a good time’,” says Sarah, who would sometimes be refused entry to bars due to her drunkenness.
But what happened on her 40th birthday finally made her re-evaluate her drinking.
“On June 5th, the day of my birthday, we had a party at my house. I drank so much gin that night,” she says.
“The next night, my sister and husband arranged for us to meet friends in a bar in Crediton.
“By 9.30pm I could barely stand. I was falling over, flashing my a***.
“I walked home barefoot, after my husband had to take my shoes off for me.
“The next day I had crippling anxiety. I just lay on the sofa all day and cried. I thought, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ Something within me changed.“
‘I’VE HAD CRAVINGS’
Sarah stopped drinking on June 7 and has been counting the days sober since.
“It’s really hard and I’ve had cravings,” she admits.
“I still drink out of a wine glass because I feel I’m missing out less. I have lots of alcohol-free drinks, mocktails – things that taste nice.
“I asked my kids the other day what Mummy’s favourite drink is and they said coffee.
“That filled me with joy. Hopefully they won’t remember my drinking.”
While husband Martyn has shown support by not drinking, Sarah says her friends aren’t on the same page.
“I’m the entertainment on a night out, so they don’t show any interest in my sobriety,” she explains.
“But my husband is over the moon and says family life has dramatically improved. I’m so much more present.
“We’ve just moved to our forever home and I’ve been so busy, which has been a saving grace.
“I’ve replaced my booze time with doing up the house and growing my own veg.
“And I’m a much better neighbour now, although I was never too annoying because the parties usually finished by 9pm.”
The next day I had crippling anxiety. I just lay on the sofa all day and cried. I thought, ‘I can’t do this anymore.’ Something within me changed.
One thing that has motivated Sarah to keep going is the blog she has started on Instagram and TikTok, Sarah Stays Sober.
“I’m honest and open about my drinking,” she says.
“I talk about the problems I had when I was drinking heavily and the benefits of going sober.
“I’ve got nearly 60,000 followers and I think I’ve helped so many people go sober. People think, “If she can do it, I can do it.”
- If you are worried that you or someone you are close to has a drinking problem, you can get advice from Drinkaware at Drinkaware.co.uk, or call their helpline on 0300 123 1110.