LAUREN Goodger opened up about the heartbreaking moment she said goodbye to baby daughter Lorena at the hospital after she died.
The TV star’s second child died just minutes after childbirth in 2022, even though Lauren’s pregnancy had been uncomplicated.
Towie’s Saffron asked Lauren what happened after she received the tragic news[/caption]
Lauren, 38, spoke about the devastating immediate aftermath after losing a child on tonight’s episode of Towie.
She sat down with co-star Saffron Lempriere, who also spoke about her grief 12 months on from losing her beloved nan.
Saffron marked the one-year anniversary of her nan’s passing with a special get together with her co-stars.
Lauren told Saffron: “You’ve got your own trauma going on and grief, which I can relate with.”
Saffron replied: “It’s never left my mind. It’s so raw. It’s the first year.”
Sharing her own heartbreaking experience, Lauren said: “No, you don’t realise it, you won’t consciously be thinking of it but it changes you.”
Saffron admitted the bond she had with her nan was very special – describing her a “second mum”.
Lauren explained: “Knowing your grief, you have strong boundaries and you change and you don’t tolerate stuff because life’s too short.
“It changes me, and I’m like ‘But I’m fine’, but it comes out in other ways.”
Lauren admitted: “I think, ‘What would she look like now?’, ‘What would she be doing?’ Larose and her would be like that, and I feel that’s the hardest part.
“It’s not like I’ve had a life with her and lost and I’ve got the memories, I have to imagine it.
“Like, what was her eye colour… because I never saw her eyes.”
Saffron then asked Lauren what happened at the hospital after she received the tragic news – and whether she came home that night.
Lauren said: “I don’t want to go into it all because it’s quite a lot, but I stayed the night at the hospital, and we went to a hotel room and we had Lorena,” to which Saffron said: “They give you time.”
Lauren continued: “So, next morning, I didn’t know what was going on. I had pictures done with her, but I’m so grateful for that, that was a charity thing.
“At the time, I was like ‘What?’
And then I passed her over and then you come home, with no baby.
An emotional Lauren added: “Weird, numb, horrible.
“But you get it, you understand that… that grief. It’s still a trauma,” as she wiped away a tear from her face.
Last year, Lauren spoke of her heartache as she marked the two-year anniversary of the death of her baby girl.
She said on Instagram: “I am so burnt out, what a hard week of emotions, grief, pain, loss fear, worry, confusion and unfairness.”
Lauren also described sleepless tights and panic attacks as she relived the traumatic events of two years ago.
She said: “I’ve hardly slept all week. But today is a new day, no more tears or nightmares, no more panic attacks.
“The most important day Monday for my daughters anniversary was ruined by a lot of other things going on.
“But I am still standing for my baby girl. Life is hard and I am going to be very positive and posting the positive things otherwise I won’t move forward mentally.”
Lauren previously called Lorena’s death the most “traumatic experience of my life”.
Speaking from her home in Essex in 2022, she told The Sun: “I went into hospital thinking I would come home with a baby girl but I came home with nothing.
“Lorena was a healthy baby and it was a textbook pregnancy.
“Lorena should be here with me. I held her and she looked like she was sleeping. I thought she would wake up.
“This has been the most traumatic experience of my life.”
Lorena was Lauren and Charles Drury’s second child.
They also share four-year-old daughter Larose.
Lauren is also mum to four-year-old daughter Larose[/caption]