A MARRIED couple claim swinging has boosted their sex lives so much they set up a saucy club – but have banned ugly people joining.
Tanya Marum and Ashley Marum, both 32, from Leeds, Yorkshire, married in 2019 and started swinging just a few months later so Tanya could explore her bisexual side.
The married couple have set up a saucy club[/caption]
While they initially started ‘playing’ with women at swingers clubs they quickly started interacting with couples after they discovered it was mainly a couple-based scene.
The couple appeared on Channel 4‘s Open House: The Greatest Sex Experiment – with Ashley famously asking a glam woman about pizza toppings while Tanya romped with a party guest.
Ashley says swinging has increased their trust in each other and that they have just one rule – to never engage with another couple on their own to avoid becoming a ‘play thing.’
Beauty salon owner Tanya says their friends are supportive of their lifestyle, while some of window cleaner Ashley’s mates even admit they’re ‘jealous’ and wish their girlfriends wanted to participate.
After struggling to regularly find people they were attracted to, they set up their own events company where people apply online and are vetting to check they’re attractive enough.
Tanya, who hosts a podcast called Pineapple Lounge, is hoping to help educate people about the ‘unwritten rulebook’ of swinging and to make informed decisions.
While the pair recommend the swinger lifestyle to others, they warn couples against trying it out to fix ‘cracks’ in their relationship.
“I think it’s strengthened our relationship emotionally and sexually,” says Tanya.
“We can talk to each other so freely and we’re so open about our own bodies as well.
“It’s just improved everything.
“It wasn’t something I ever actually thought about at all.
“We were on a night out and a friend asked if we wanted a threesome and I said no because she was a friend but it sparked a discussion and it spiralled from there.
She goes on to say how the original attraction was to explore being bisexual and look for women.
“Ash said ‘if it’s something you want to explore we can explore together and see,’ she recalls.
I think it’s strengthened our relationship emotionally and sexually
Tanya Marum
“We played with girls for a long time but eventually started playing with couples because it’s a predominantly couple-based scene.
“It’s just such an accepting community of people. It’s fun and it’s not all just about sex that people imagine.
“We’ve made some really good friends through the lifestyle and it’s brought me and Ash closer together.”
Tanya believes that while some couples say they can talk about anything, she doesn’t believe they can.
“There’s always something you don’t really want to say to your partner but I can ask Ash anything,” she explains.
“Obviously jealousy is a natural feeling but it’s how you go about it and how you act on those feelings.
Tanya and Ashley have banned ugly people joining their saucy club[/caption]
Tanya believes swinging has strengthened their relationship emotionally and sexually[/caption]
Tanya says the couple played with girls for a long time but eventually started playing with couples[/caption]
The couple appeared on Channel 4’s Open House: The Greatest Sex Experiment[/caption]
“The trust and the love and the foundation is already there for us so we don’t get jealous in a bad way.”
Now, Ashley says they trust each other more than ever because of their open and honest discussions about their swinging lifestyle.
“Our trust has increased by swinging,” says Ashley.
“Every couple we know that does it feels exactly the same.
“There’s 100% trust and you understand what each other likes more than anything and you want each other to be as happy as possible.
“You don’t get that very often in a normal relationship.”
Ashley notes that he’s honest and open with everything so if something’s not right he says it straight away.
“Tanya is exactly the same so because we’re honest with each other all the time it’s made it so much easier,” he continues.
“We only go out together and if we ever do anything separately, which is very rare, our one and only rule is we wouldn’t play with a couple on our own.
“We don’t want to be someone’s play thing – that’s how people treat a single.
“We want to do our own thing and have our own experience and our own fun.”
The couple now organise bi-monthly club events for other like-minded young people and are now so popular they haven’t had to pay for a single club entry in two years.
I don’t want people there who the majority would think are unattractive
Ashley Marum
Ashley says: “It’s one of the best decisions we’ve made and [our sex life] is better than ever.
“We’ve made businesses out of it and it’s become our sole life now. It offers a new hobby for us, which is always fun.
“When we found it hard to consistently meet people that are our age or that we like we messaged people on a website and we said ‘why don’t we all meet in town for a drink’.
“We liked it so much that we said ‘let’s do it again next month’.
“Now we have events with 300 plus people going and we make people apply on the website so we know what they look like.
“I don’t want people there who the majority would think are unattractive.
“We want to try to get people to come that they might not be your type but they’re nice looking and take care of themselves.
“It’s the most expensive hobby ever but we get free tickets to everywhere anytime we want. It’s made it a lot cheaper to go out.”
While the couple’s non-swinging friends have been very accepting of their lifestyle, Ashley revealed his family are ‘not happy about it.’
“At first we didn’t tell people because people judge but then as we got more comfortable with ourselves doing it we told friends,” Ashley explains.
“My friends are like ‘I wish my girlfriend would try this, I wish we could do that’. Now everybody knows and no one says anything to us.
“My family was not happy about it.
“A lot of my friends who do this as well have jobs where if they find out they leave their job.
“Me and Tanya have our own businesses so we don’t care, no one can say anything to us.
“If anything, I feel like I’ve got more customers since.”
The podcast host revealed she hopes interviewing a variety of guests will help to educate and inform others to see whether swinging is for them.
“The lifestyle is something a lot of people are curious about but don’t know how to learn about it or how to get into it or how things are done,” says Tanya.
Relationships in numbers: The most common way to meet someone
YouGov looked into how Brits find love, and your best bet is at work or through friends according to the data.
- Through work – 18%
- Through friends – 18%
- While out and about – 15%
- Other – 11%
- Online dating platform – 7%
- University or higher education – 6%
- Dating app – 6%
- School – 5%
- Shared hobby – 5%
- Family – 3%
- Face to face at an event – 0%
“There is an unwritten rulebook you’re expected to just know so by doing the dating show we can ask people questions and the answers can hopefully help other people.
“They can then make an informed decision whether it’s for them.
“If you’re a couple you have to be 100% in love and trust each other.
“If you have cracks in your relationship and you think it’s a way to spice things up, you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.
“It needs to be an addition to your relationship and not to fix something so just make sure you’re in a good place to begin with.”
Tanya says swinging has ‘just improved everything’[/caption]
Ashley says he doesn’t want people at his saucy club who the majority would think are unattractive[/caption]
Ashley says his family are ‘not happy’ about his lifestyle[/caption]